My Thoughts: Settling Back In

Over this past month as I’ve been settling back into life back home, I’ve made a few observations and taken some time to take stock of all that’s going on around me. 

More than anything else, I am beyond happy to be reunited, at home, with my family after 13 months abroad. With that being said, I miss living in Poland and France and I miss the friends who welcomed me into their countries, churches, and homes for a dinner or an insightful, cross-cultural conversation. 

Coming back home has not been easy, I’ve realized that I can’t just easily pick up where I left off over a year ago. I have come to value time with my loved ones even more than I ever have. After disembarking at BWI, I was confronted with the reality of being home and I had to adapt and respond to all that was happening around me. From working incessantly to catch up after having missed two weeks of classes at SU, to becoming elected Chairman of our Central Committee a week after arriving back home; my world was spinning yet I was grateful for it all. 

In the midst of the busyness of life- I was confronted with a difficult reality on another, more important, front. I had to come to terms with the realization of what had been my greatest fear while I was gone, the fear of losing my grandmother- one of the most influential and dearly loved individuals in my world. As she was admitted into hospice the Friday of the week I came home,  everything else that was going on faded, becoming less important as I made time to cherish what little time I had left with her on earth.  I am grateful to God, for the few weeks that He allowed me to have with her. I will forever cherish all of the conversations we’ve had and time spent together. I’m grateful for the eternal peace that I know she entered into on March 1 as she went to Heaven, as I know I will be  there  with her again one day. I am also still trying to find what my new “normal” is being back at home. One of my favorite ways to spend my Saturday afternoons before going abroad was volunteering at her assisted living home, Lakeside at Mallard Landing. Since 2015, I’ve made a number of friends and honorary grandparents at Lakeside whom I genuinely care for. I look forward to returning to Lakeside one day; however, at present even driving past Schumaker Lane can simply be a little too painful. 

So why am I saying all this? I write this because I simply want to share a little bit of the perspective I’ve gained over the past few weeks of feeling like a foreigner in my homeland as I settle in learning that life can blindside someone in a number of ways. 

In the midst of pain, uncertainty, and fear- I’ve learned to be better at leaning into those whom I love and trusting in a God who I know loves me. 

As our state, nation, and world are gripped by a pandemic that has created a frenzied culture of fear- I would just encourage my friends to take an objective look at life and realize that even in the midst of chaos there is still much to be grateful for. I understand many may not know where the next paycheck is coming from or how they will fare in retirement as the stock market tumbles- yet I am certain that we will get through these trying times, together. I write this to invite you to take a hard look at life in order to determine what really matters. In light of these trying times in which uncertainty abounds, one of the most beneficial things we can to is to take stock of our situation and adjust our priorities accordingly. As we all adapt to the concept of social distancing, make sure that you still find time to be present (even if not physically) in the lives of those who matter.